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Out of the closet: I have a food addiction

8/18/2014

10 Comments

 
>>>>>>>>>>>> DAY ONE IP REBOOT<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Note: Not all individuals losing weight struggle with a 'food addiction',so please read this posting with that in mind. My aim with this post  is to convey my very honest look at my own personal struggles with obesity and food addiction. Someone you may know, or others  you may not know-- might relate to this posting--- to them I hope this posting offers hope and encouragement.

Today is day 1 for me.  A lot of people read this blog as I can tell by google analytics and Pinterest clicks/shares etc. I do not mention that to be cocky or vain, rather  I feel I would be lying to my readers, if I did not share my own recent struggle. Yes, while I have been hugely successful in doing Ideal Protein, I phased on and off for the summer. I've always approached this blog in an honest manner sharing both successes and struggles, therefore this post is no different. However, I would like for this post to be my online accountability, my very  public "reboot" if you will.

I lost 55 pounds on Ideal Protein  from Aug 2013- May 2014. I loosely followed protocol this summer, and enjoyed many 'carbfests'. While I did enjoy myself, I paid for it on the scale. In three months, I have flucutated and ultimately  gained 10 pounds back. Some have told me "that's not a lot, get back on track" ... Others have said  "that's because its [IP]  a fad diet, I knew you would gain it back".

I say:  "I can feel a 10 lb weight gain. I can feel it in the way my jeans are tight. I can see it on my hips, inner thighs and armpits. I own it. It happened. BUT I refuse to let it rule my life, as I once did. I will  NOT hide behind my failure with food. I refuse to give up. I am still 45 pounds lighter than I was a year ago. I will NOT throw it all away. I worked my butt off to slim down and get healthy. I see this as my "warning". The girl who had trouble containing herself around sweet treats, homemade pastries, pastas and goodies is still there, and she will always be! God made her a 'foodie'. Rather than pretend she's gone or make excuses for the weight gain, I  again----will own it. I have a food addiction. There are plenty of 'foodies' who can eat small meals, and enjoy tastes without over doing it. My goal is to learn that lifestyle, to be content with a taste here and there.  A shared meal out with friends every once in a while, a  possible night of food indulgence.... but not to allow the food to consume my thoughts, bank account and my life. My goal last year when I started Ideal Protein was to lose as much weight as possible in order to possibly start a family, that was my motivation. While it worked, I learned along the way that I had other issues surrounding my weight, as many of us do: self-image, food-coping, and self-confidence.
 
When I started losing the weight, I loved the feeling of going in to a store to fit into a pair of jeans without a muffin top, or being able to try  a shirt on and not have my fat rolls exposed while sitting down (I would always test what I looked like in a sitting position, as I hated being photographed with bulgy rolls).

These are all wonderful factors to weight loss, but over time with the help of my counselor I've realized I have not processed the addiction aspect of my personal journey.  I was raised by people other than my biological parents---- I come bioliogically from a family of addicts. Parents and some siblings abused heroin and cocaine. Other siblings are moribidly obese due to their own food addiction. Whether or not you believe addicition is partially a "genetic" issue--is a personal and somewhat controversial  issue. For me, I did not think it was a genetic problem, I saw it more as a lifestyle choice... for the longest time, until now.
 
However, now I see genetics as a contributor towards the problem. I refuse to blame my food addiction, solely on genetics, rather I now view genetics as a possible explanation as to the "why" I "may" struggle with addiction.  Knowing part of "why" I struggle is actually a relief to the self-hatred and inner "war" I wage in my mind.  It's taken me a long time to "make this make sense", but the easiest way I see it is--- if you have a risk factor for developing any common disease, wouldn't you want to lower your risk by 1) researching the exact risks 2) work to eliminate lifestyle factors that could help to avoid developing the said disease?

That's my "why" for doing on this second journey of Ideal Protein. Rather than focusing on weight loss as a number or a clothing size or even to help with creating a family... I'm focusing it on my journey of recovery from my food addiction. I will be giving up literal foods that create similar responses to a "high", i.e. sugars, fast-food, fried food. See a great article here that explains how these foods create a similar  chemical reaction as a drug-user would get from a dose of heroin.

I truly believe a majority of success is measured NOT by  products or strict routines, rather the mental perserverance to get to your goal, whatever it may be. "The inner dialogue that directs us to stay or stray from our goals is very powerful."

Today, is Day One of this journey . I choose to focus my energy on recovery from food addiction. I choose to focus on Ideal Protein and commit myself to it for several reasons, first of all- its an excellent program for reducting sugar and second- I know  I can get results, as I have seen from others and my own experience-- it works.

Thanks for reading and  letting me be honest and real. I hope this post encourages others who may be struggling with similiar issues to know you're not alone and CAN do whatever you set your mind to do!

I will be working on new recipes and of course will share them with you all as I start this second journey.
- Ideal Protein Tiffany


10 Comments
Julia
8/18/2014 05:01:11 am

Thank you for taking the time to do this blog! As I am reading your blog I'm reading about myself. I've lost 50lbs. I started in March & July 4th I went off. Since July I too gained 10lbs but I'm back at it & today is day 3. I need to lose 100lbs more. Your blog gave me the boost I needed! Thank you!!!! Keep going, one day at a time...... Julia

Reply
Susan
10/1/2014 06:27:25 am

Wow Julia, you just wrote what I have done! Lost 40lbs started in May and by July 4th ( family 2 week vacation) I have cheated my way to October.

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Tania
8/18/2014 09:49:37 am

Nice to see you are back at your blog. I'm into my 6th week of IP and really excited to see the changes in my body and my mind. Look forward to your recipes and progress!

Reply
Cara
8/18/2014 09:16:49 pm

I'm way off I'm a bus driver which gives me all summer off so I can stay out later and drink when I usually home away from all the goodies

Reply
Jan
8/19/2014 03:49:25 am

Good for u and congratulations. I have been on IT since June 4th and can see a real difference in the way my clothes fit. I am so excited for you and cannot wait to try your recipes. ..Stay strong!

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Sue
9/12/2014 11:25:30 am

So ... how are things going a month into your "reboot?" My IP experience sounds very similar to yours ... from Sept '13 thru Feb '14 I happily lost 40lbs, then without really intending to, I majorly fell off the wagon this summer and gained back 12lbs. I started on Phase 1 again on 8/25, and I'm really struggling to "reboot" ... this time I find myself "cheating" almost daily, instead of following protocol exactly ... I think due to my feelings of "not being successful" on my first attempt. Thanks for sharing your experiences with such honesty. God bless you!!

Reply
Marinda
10/8/2014 12:22:35 pm

My dear, you could be writing my story. 40 pounds lost, kept off for two years but getting into a weight gain creep.. Now I am back at IP, losing again and decarbing. I quit sugar, fast food, eating in cars and doing My Fitness Pal still could not stop the creep back on. I lost family members to morbid obesity, so I know what can happen to me. I work with a therapist, journal privately, and work a program of recovery. I learn about what I need by reviewing what I learned that day. I start every day knowing this one is a fresh start. Your journey is amazing, your honesty is amazing and will serve you well. You are addressing your issues with addiction and on your first steps to recovery. Figure out what works for you and keep making progress. I will keep reading your blog and admire your courage.

Reply
Ideal Protein Tiffany
11/2/2014 01:27:26 am

Hi all!
Thank you so much for the sweet comments. I did great for a while, and ended up sticking to “maintenance” for the last couple of months. I had two new jobs, (2) vacations with friends, and was in another friend’s wedding. In other words, I was really not focused on “staying on track”. I maintained my weight, and am hoping to lose my remaining 12 pounds by the end of the year. I am so encouraged by all of you readers, your inspiring me to keep going! THANK YOU!

-Tiffany

Reply
Wendy
11/21/2014 10:32:00 am

I am so thankful to find this site. I too am an addict! I have lost 65 pounds since June. I am of wagon and can't seem to get on. This has truly been an encouragement. THANK YOU..... Hope we all make it through the holidays..
Wendy

Reply
Linda
12/16/2014 10:41:51 am

Thank you for this post. I realize after this weekend's off the wagon at two parties, I am a sugar addict. I really did okay with avoiding all the corn casseroles, chips and salty stuff. BUT, then I hit the desserts. Once I got started, I couldn't stop. I'm paying for it big time - headache, tired, tired, and feeling defeated and fat. I weight in tomorrow and if I've maintained, I'd be very happy but I've probably gained. I'm only into IP for 4 weeks, have lost 10 pounds, but I need to lose a whole lot more. I'll keep reading for the motivation.

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