Note: Not all individuals losing weight struggle with a 'food addiction',so please read this posting with that in mind. My aim with this post is to convey my very honest look at my own personal struggles with obesity and food addiction. Someone you may know, or others you may not know-- might relate to this posting--- to them I hope this posting offers hope and encouragement.
Today is day 1 for me. A lot of people read this blog as I can tell by google analytics and Pinterest clicks/shares etc. I do not mention that to be cocky or vain, rather I feel I would be lying to my readers, if I did not share my own recent struggle. Yes, while I have been hugely successful in doing Ideal Protein, I phased on and off for the summer. I've always approached this blog in an honest manner sharing both successes and struggles, therefore this post is no different. However, I would like for this post to be my online accountability, my very public "reboot" if you will.
I lost 55 pounds on Ideal Protein from Aug 2013- May 2014. I loosely followed protocol this summer, and enjoyed many 'carbfests'. While I did enjoy myself, I paid for it on the scale. In three months, I have flucutated and ultimately gained 10 pounds back. Some have told me "that's not a lot, get back on track" ... Others have said "that's because its [IP] a fad diet, I knew you would gain it back".
I say: "I can feel a 10 lb weight gain. I can feel it in the way my jeans are tight. I can see it on my hips, inner thighs and armpits. I own it. It happened. BUT I refuse to let it rule my life, as I once did. I will NOT hide behind my failure with food. I refuse to give up. I am still 45 pounds lighter than I was a year ago. I will NOT throw it all away. I worked my butt off to slim down and get healthy. I see this as my "warning". The girl who had trouble containing herself around sweet treats, homemade pastries, pastas and goodies is still there, and she will always be! God made her a 'foodie'. Rather than pretend she's gone or make excuses for the weight gain, I again----will own it. I have a food addiction. There are plenty of 'foodies' who can eat small meals, and enjoy tastes without over doing it. My goal is to learn that lifestyle, to be content with a taste here and there. A shared meal out with friends every once in a while, a possible night of food indulgence.... but not to allow the food to consume my thoughts, bank account and my life. My goal last year when I started Ideal Protein was to lose as much weight as possible in order to possibly start a family, that was my motivation. While it worked, I learned along the way that I had other issues surrounding my weight, as many of us do: self-image, food-coping, and self-confidence.
When I started losing the weight, I loved the feeling of going in to a store to fit into a pair of jeans without a muffin top, or being able to try a shirt on and not have my fat rolls exposed while sitting down (I would always test what I looked like in a sitting position, as I hated being photographed with bulgy rolls).
These are all wonderful factors to weight loss, but over time with the help of my counselor I've realized I have not processed the addiction aspect of my personal journey. I was raised by people other than my biological parents---- I come bioliogically from a family of addicts. Parents and some siblings abused heroin and cocaine. Other siblings are moribidly obese due to their own food addiction. Whether or not you believe addicition is partially a "genetic" issue--is a personal and somewhat controversial issue. For me, I did not think it was a genetic problem, I saw it more as a lifestyle choice... for the longest time, until now.
However, now I see genetics as a contributor towards the problem. I refuse to blame my food addiction, solely on genetics, rather I now view genetics as a possible explanation as to the "why" I "may" struggle with addiction. Knowing part of "why" I struggle is actually a relief to the self-hatred and inner "war" I wage in my mind. It's taken me a long time to "make this make sense", but the easiest way I see it is--- if you have a risk factor for developing any common disease, wouldn't you want to lower your risk by 1) researching the exact risks 2) work to eliminate lifestyle factors that could help to avoid developing the said disease?
That's my "why" for doing on this second journey of Ideal Protein. Rather than focusing on weight loss as a number or a clothing size or even to help with creating a family... I'm focusing it on my journey of recovery from my food addiction. I will be giving up literal foods that create similar responses to a "high", i.e. sugars, fast-food, fried food. See a great article here that explains how these foods create a similar chemical reaction as a drug-user would get from a dose of heroin.
I truly believe a majority of success is measured NOT by products or strict routines, rather the mental perserverance to get to your goal, whatever it may be. "The inner dialogue that directs us to stay or stray from our goals is very powerful."
Today, is Day One of this journey . I choose to focus my energy on recovery from food addiction. I choose to focus on Ideal Protein and commit myself to it for several reasons, first of all- its an excellent program for reducting sugar and second- I know I can get results, as I have seen from others and my own experience-- it works.
Thanks for reading and letting me be honest and real. I hope this post encourages others who may be struggling with similiar issues to know you're not alone and CAN do whatever you set your mind to do!
I will be working on new recipes and of course will share them with you all as I start this second journey.
- Ideal Protein Tiffany